Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg reschedules wake, loses security deposit
Sources close to Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg have confirmed that the 83 year-old jurist has official rescheduled her wake. Originally planned for Saturday Jan. 21, 2017, Ginsburg has indefinitely postponed the event. Due to the uncertainty of the date it is also reported that Ginsburg has lost her initial security deposit.
“First I have to postpone something I’ve really been looking forward to, and then they tell me I lose my deposit? What’s next I have to stay eight more years instead of just four?” Ginsburg said
Ginsburg said her original wake was timed perfectly for different election results, but in light of the “colossal dumpster fire” that 2016 was, she has been forced to reconsider.
Democrats around the country have rejoiced following her announcement. San Antonio resident Sandra Puckett said she once called for Ginsburg to resign from the bench, but now swears by the tenacious Justice.
“Jesus am I glad that old bird didn’t step down a few years ago. I mean look at Merrick Garland, shit that poor guy has it rough. I’m glad Barry didn’t get the chance to nominate two new judges. It would literally have never happened. And where would we be now? Women’s rights, right out the window,” Puckett said.
Calls for Ginsburg to step down have come from time to time, most recently during President Obama’s final term. Those who argue for this site Ginsburg’s frail health as a reason for her to “let it go.”
Ginsburg has had her fair share of health scares since assuming the bench in 1993. Diagnosed with colon cancer in 1999, Ginsburg underwent treatment and did not miss a single day on the bench. Diagnosed in 2009 with early stage pancreatic cancer, she again underwent treatment and again did not miss a single day on the bench.
“Cancer didn’t stop me. Nothing will until I say it will,” Ginsburg said defiantly to a crowd of power-hungry, right-leaning college students with dreams of presiding over the highest court in the land following a lecture she gave at George Washington University after the election.
The announcement not only comes as a relief to terrified Democrats but also to online Tumblr users and proponents of the popular meme “Notorious RGB.” Based on the famous 1990s rapper the Notorious B.I.G., Ginsburg has assumed the thug persona portrayed in internet culture. Most recently, Ginsburg says she most identified with the Notorious RGB when facing her wake organizers.
“Damn straight I told them off. I’m not about to lose my deposit to a human dorito. No way,” Ginsburg said. “I’m in this for the long haul. No more am I shooting for 23 years on the bench, I’m here until I literally die here. I’m taking off my gloves and we’re about to get down and dirt. Notorious RGB, out!”